


Who is the Monster now, dear sister?

by Tukma



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015), supercorp - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Bisexual Kara Danvers, Blood Drinking, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Crushes, Dead Lex Luthor, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Heartbeats, Jess & Lena Luthor Friendship, Jess Ships Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lesbian Lena Luthor, Lex Luthor Being an Asshole, Post-Canon, Protective Kara Danvers, Protective Lena Luthor, Protectiveness, Synthetic Blood, Virus, sun alergy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29919978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tukma/pseuds/Tukma
Summary: Things are finally getting back to normal in National city, Lena and Kara are close again, closer than before.  When a routine buisness trip for Lena changes everything, she wakes at home, with a new set of realities to deal with.No matter how enlightened or open minded she was, there were just some things that were not possible, that couldn’t or didn't exist. Vampires, Werewolves and Zombies were right at the top of the list, no matter what Bram Stoker, Anne Rice or Stephanie bloody Mayer dreamed up, probably after way too much red wine.  So why was she repeatedly circling back to this of all possible conclusions, and why was Sir Aurther Conan Doyal in her mind?? “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 26
Kudos: 28





	1. Science, Fiction or Fantasy?

**Author's Note:**

> cannon until Lex death, no crisis Lena still goes off the deep end a little but she helps Kara and comes back into the fold.
> 
> Thanks you my editor @WithinTemptation99 and my Beta @ZelenaMills73

Vampires do not exist, it is as simple as that, they are stuff of fantasy, sure there were some myths and Legends too, but much like those of the dragon slaying knights, and the Roman and Grecian God’s battling monsters they were stories. Stories told to people to entertain, to pass on messages, to give a sense on history and society before there were other methods. As much as she enjoyed passing time with a good book, even science fiction, the world of fantasies have never been on her radar. She preferred her myths with more depth and feeling, with an underlying philosophy like Aristotle or Homer, the classics, they were a stable within her family and she had grown to appreciate the messages and the thought behind the tales. Science fiction was of interest, when it was possible to overlook the glaringly obvious issues with the actuarial science of course, it was somewhat of a challenge, looking at the ideas and thoughts of creative people and wondering if she could make them a reality. She had with some although other things still remained a distinct impossibility. Bram stoker had a lot to answer for, not to mention the plethora of other fictional writers depicting the blood sucking half demons. Sparkling skin and day walking, she shook her head, it was preposterous that her mind could not detach from this stupid and illogical conclusion .

Sure over the last few hundred years things had changed, before the Wright brothers, flight was impossible, thought to be the stuff of fantasy, before sputnik, there was no one that believed humans could really get into space. William Gilbert's Magnetic field, Johanne Kepler's Laws of planetary motion, Newton's Laws, Faraday and his electromagnetic induction, Einstein and his theories on relativity, Schrodinger and Heisenberg with Quantum mechanics, Mapping the human genome, even some of her own accomplishments were thought of as fiction until she created them, similar could be said of her brother. Then there was the multiverse and the Metahumans, Aliens even time travel and interdimensional beings. A strange memory started to resurface, she followed the memory trying to clear it within her mind well now that is just impossible it had to be some sort of nightmare.

********* 3 days ago ********

Lena was heading out to a meeting, she needed to head down to her private jet and she would be in Metropolis for three days, it was to finally remove a number of investors and contractors that were coming up for renewal, she would finally be able to terminate the contracts without any repercussions. It was the last of Lex’s influence and she was happy for it to be finally over. She had slipped into her car, but it had set out in the wrong direction, she tried to speak to the driver there was a pause but no response. When the door opened Lena saw Otis Graves sliding into the car next to her.

“Don't bother with the watch princess, I am not going to be here long enough to warrant that, I just needed a moment, I made a promise and I always deliver.”

“This is not possible your, dead, what the hell is happening”

Lena had run through the multitude of possibilities, Otis had first died when he had been involved in the attempt on supergirls life with the kryptonite dispersal device, but he was then brought back as a cyborg Metallo, even with a kryptonite heart he was once again killed. Otis had been killed more than once now, what was it three times now? How the hell was he alive and so calmly seated in her car, the man wasn't showing any signs of kryptonite and he appeared to be human again. Honestly Lena was getting fed up with taking out the trash, why did villains never seem to stay dead? The heros, the people she loved, when they died they were gone for good, but the insane megalomaniacs oh no they just kept on coming back, she thought about the watch for a moment, how did he even know about it.

“That really isn't any of your concern at the moment although, you may want to find me later. Your brother gave me a task, he said if he ever turned up dead, it would only be at your hands. He never believed that you would actually have the stomach or the balls to do it you know, but if it did ever happen it could only be you, and that I was to come give you a little parting gift from Lex.”

Lena’s heart raced with the psychotic look on his face but the scream was stolen as he lunged and bit her, then everything was black.

*********now**********

Lena had to draw the line somewhere and well that line was Vampires, that was a stretch too far even for her. No matter how enlightened or open minded she was, there were just some things that were not possible, that couldn’t or didn't exist. Vampires, Werewolves and Zombies were right at the top of the list, no matter what Bram Stoker, Anne Rice or Stephanie bloody Mayer dreamed up, probably after way too much red wine. So why was she repeatedly circling back to this of all possible conclusions, and why was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in her mind?? “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

Well the “Truth '' however improbable it appears, is that Lena Luthor genius billionaire CEO is currently being held prisoner. Is it some crazed fanatic out for vengeance for the sins committed by her family, or perhaps yet another of her regluar quarterly assassination attempts from almost every man and his dog but mainly just her own family. Considering the Trials and tribulations over the last four years she’s dealt with since relocating to National City and her life in general as a Luthor and being “the sane one in the xenophobic an genocidal family” or as Lex never failed to remind her, “a disappointment to the Luthor name”. As a Luthor either of the two aforementioned scenarios would be considered child’s play , a trivial matter with a minor inconvenience and easily rectifiable, what Lena wouldn't give to be faced with such rudimentary and mundane matters but unfortunately no, not this time. Presently the young Luthor is trapped both metaphorically and physically, in the decadent bathroom of her spacious penthouse of all places and not by some nefarious villain. But the vibrant warming rays of sun peeking in through the skylight above that subsequently had seared into her flesh upon contact with her pale skin. 

Well if she is going to be stuck here for a while she damn well has time to go over the facts and look at the evidence again. If nothing else she’s a scientist first and foremost, genius level IQ and intelligence, and the best education that money can buy courtesy of the Luthor name. Apparently that also includes mass genocide, megalomania and mental instability, maybe she might have to reconcider her title as the “sane Luthor” after all, there had to be a logical and quantifiable explanation for the series of bizarre events. One that didn't include something that sounded like the plot hole ridden origin of a superhero/villain from some cheesy comic book. The kind rife with flawed scientifically inaccurate drivel, about some sort of tainted blood from a radioactive bat. Seriously I mean how the actual fuck would that even turn a human into a vampire anyway? 

Not to mention Lena was well aware of her own genome thankyou,if there was anything altered or different about it such as germline mutations, chromosome abnormalities, numeric or structural. Like say being a different species other than human for example Lena obviously would have bloody well known about it for fuck sake. She needed to stop for a moment and look at this scientifically and rationally, after all this is National City we’re talking about, the home to Supergirl and all the strange abnormal occurrences that come along with it and the kryptonian refugee. Also home to the copious number of villainous individuals that incessantly dare to idiotically challenge the Girl of Steel on a biweekly/bimonthly basis, surely this has to be some wacky new nefarious scheme from the latest deranged villain of the week. Lena hypothesized she was more likely to be trapped within a horrid obsidian nightmare unable to end simulation, or under the influence of some parasitic alien plant life. Hell even being kidnapped by Lillian or Lex and held hostage somewhere hallucinating and drugged out of her mind was statistically more plausible than the obscured notion that somehow she was now a vampire. 

**********Luthor Labs R&D meeting 10.5 Years ago********

“So this quarterly meeting is in regards to where we are with the projects currently being undertaken within Luthor Labs. Shall we have a round robin”

Lena had listened, un-interested in most of the things that were going on, weapons upgrades, some kind of flight suit, experiments with solar radiation, changing the wave lengths and use of the different light spectrums. It was the first meeting and she would be outlining her first project, not that anyone would be interested of course, not with the direction of the room. There were non essential pharmaceuticals of profit and ideas around new tech for observation and information gathering. Lena hated the way that every project had military applications, then Hanson had spoken up.

“Well we are still working on a form of reanimation for dead and dying cells. The idea is that we can create a way to reverse the decay, save limbs or soldiers, and avoid the degradation of the brain. It could have applications for military personnel, people suffering from Alzheimer’s , it could also potentially reverse issues like gangrene and other issues that are associated with diabetes. We could potentially reverse the shutting down of vital organs through cirrhosis, potentially it could change the course of human evolution, depending on how well it goes we could reduce or slow the process of aging in general.”

Lena thought that it was a little far fetched, but if there was any chance that Henson was working on something that could actually help mankind maybe she was not alone in that thought within the company. That thought had been removed almost immediately following his declaration that if they can slow it they can speed it up creating a rather effective weapon that would remove biologicals but leave infrastructure. Lena was outraged, biological weapons were against the Geneva convention not to mention the biological weapons convention from 1972. She raised her concerns and was shut down almost instantly, she had left the meeting with a feeling of dread, she had made a mistake, she needed to keep an eye on that project, and if it got too far, she would turn her brother in, she was not going to be complicit in that.

*********now******

Lena sank a little lower in the bath attempting to relax and calm down, clearing her mind watching as the sun shifted slowly across the sky, making note of the direction, path and position of the sun's rays shining in from the partially closed skylight. Not planning on making the painful mistake of connecting her skin with the sun again anytime soon. That was a starting point for her initial piece of evidence she supposed, considering her pale skin that was already sensitive and prone to sunburn was now suddenly highly allergic to the sun. Lena was positive that not only did it burn but her hand was smoking as well, she had pulled away almost instantaneously as the sun touched her hand. That was the second thing, she was faster than she had ever been before, she had meant to move her hand and step back, only to find herself with her back against the wall of the bathroom looking at her hand in shock and disbelief. The sun allergy was one thing that was manageable, she could counter that though, she vaguely remembered developing a treatment to help the son of a potential new investor almost a decade ago when she first went to work in the Labs at Luthorcorp.

*******Luthor Corp R&D 10 years ago********

Lena looked up as the door opened seeing Lex walking into the Lab, she smiled at him, she was hoping that coming home, coming back to the company would mean that she could get him back on track, that she could somehow get him to understand that he didn't need to keep going with the direction he was, that he didn't need to make bigger and more destructive weapons, that superman was not the enemy, that no aliens should be immediately seen as a threat, they should be judged on their actions. She supposed that she felt a sort of affinity with the alien population, they like her lost their homes and families and came to a new one, Lex had been so accepting when she came to the Luthor house. Where was that boy now, where was that kindness, that light? She put down her work and turned to look at him fully.

“Well Lex, to what do I owe this unexpected trip into the basement of the company?”

“Well dear sister I didn't know that I needed an excuse or a reason to visit my sister or the lab within Luthor corp, however I am here with a project for you”

Lena internally cursed herself, six months that was all, six months and here he was coming into her lab to give her a project, she had known that there was no way that he was serious about her coming in and doing the projects she wanted to, there was no way that he would keep his word and let her choose her own projects, of course he had an agenda, he always did, why did she think that this time would be any different. He was really gone wasn't he, the brother she loved was gone.

“Now Lex, you are well aware of the agreement we made, I was happy working with Jack and we were going to do projects that we wanted to do, I came back with the explicit agreement that I would chose my projects, that I alone would decide the direction of my lab, and that I wouldn't be working on any projects for you, I am not building weapons or anything that can harm, I want to make a difference with my inventions, and that is why it is in my contract, that I have complete anonymity.”

“You wound me sister, I come to you with an opportunity to make a difference, true it is not on a grand scale, maybe only five hundred people in the world at present, but still no one is looking at it, because it isn't common, it isn't going to be a money earner, but it will make a difference to those people, and as for my interest, I may have discovered it when looking into a potential new investor, you know how meticulous I am when researching, it would potentially strengthen that alliance. However if your not interested in helping the son of a potential new investor, see the sun for the first time, to be able to live a normal life, go outside and play, that is fine, I can secure the contract with or without you, it just seemed like something that you would want to be involved with.”

Lena looked at him, he was standing there, not as the CEO not as the megalomaniac that had been driving the company forward into war with superman, he looked softer, like the brother that she once knew, she held out her hand and looked at the file, the boy was only six, he was an albino and allergic to the sun, he literally couldn't come in contact with the sun without going into anaphylaxis. It burned him so deeply that his throat would close, the last time he had been indirectly in the sun he had almost died, he lived in a dark basement room. She accepted the project and in nine months had created a synthetic melanin, a cream that helps absorb the sun, and a medication that combated the allergy to the sun, essentially she had managed to create protection for his skin, which would be great for others of a pale complexion and the medication managed to remove the danger from the allergic reaction. Lex had said he was proud of her, it was one of the happiest moments since she came back.

***** now******

Thinking intensely about the speed, did she really move so fast? Maybe just the pain and the shock made her think that, there is a theory that time slows and speeds up when in highly emotional states, she couldn't really work that out from inside the bath tub, maybe when the sun went down she could crawl out from her hiding spot and see if she is as fast as she appeared, it was something that needed more testing. She was stronger than she was before, and it was not like it was a little bit either, the moment that she saw herself in the mirror she had gripped the skink and it broke. She was not able to break marble before, so that was definitely new. Although alone it was not enough to think that she was fundamentally altered indefinitely. After all the work with haron el produced a variety of possible superpowers, she could just as easily have been exposed accidentally. The Light and the strength, the possible speed could be explained by her being infected by some form of synthetic haron el. Her eyes had freaked her out a little, the red rim around her iris and the strange glow, her eyes were still mostly green but there were some differences, although again it was a possibility that it could be a side effect of an infection.

Something that could not be written off with some kind of infection or virus was the distinct lack of heartbeat. Between the pain, the shock and the general position that she found herself in, her heart should have reacted. If the sight or thought of Kara caused her heart to stutter and take off like a rocket in her chest, if assassination attempts and near death experiences caused a almost frantic beating, why the hell has she felt nothing since she woke up in pain? There had been nothing, to start with she had thought that maybe there was a issue with her adrenal glands, like she had developed Cushing's syndrome, but that was a ridiculous and an errant thought after all when the sun started burning her she had reacted, and it had hurt, there was no reduction in pain stimulus and she definitely had her fight or flight responses in tact. She placed her hand on her chest once again, feeling nothing, there was nothing in the corroded artery or at her wrist. She had no heartbeat, nothing. The reasons for having no heartbeat were simple and final, no heartbeat means you are dead. She was dead, but walking around, still conscious, still able to think, so she couldn't possibly be actually dead. The thought that this was in some way an after life once again popped into her mind, she didn't believe in that, but then she figured that this would be the kind of after life she would have. 

Trapped alone in her bathroom. She chuckled for a moment before shaking her head. She was awake, alert, able to touch, sense, and interact, she was no more dead than a ghost, she sighed. It was evidence of her vampirism as such, but she was definitely no longer human or alive, undead was a distinct possibility, but how? Hanson’s project on the reanimation of dead and dying cells had been scrapped within six months ,after Lena had voiced her concerns at the initial quarterly meeting. Lex simply stated that it was not viable or sustainable, it was one of those moments when she could see that there was a small hope left for her being able to turn him around, to be able to get her brother back, he had listened to her and had taken her advice and shut the project down. After all if that was something to do with this, if Hanson had come after her, she would have been taken out completely, not been infected with something leaving her in a half life like this, not he was a homicidal mad scientist, that was the think her brother liked about him, he had the same insanity as Lex had, she had ensured that he was taken out with Lex, but that didn't count him out. Lex proved that it was still possible to get to her in prison. That it was easy to get out and on top of that, if he had a plan Lex would have helped, although Lex was dead, it didn't mean that he had not pathed the way.

The pain in her throat was possibly an infection but she felt thirsty, she would normally have bottled water but unable to get to the kitchen she had to drink from the faucet and she had drunk a lot. Resulting in her being sloshy, that was not a good scientific term but it was the best that she could come up with. She had drunk so much that she could hear the fluid moving in her and it was sloshy, but at the same time it had not helped at all. She was still thirsty, the burning in her throat was reminiscent of the burn from the first taste of scotch, although far less enjoyable and around a hundred times more painful. Water doesn't quench the thirst at all and no matter how much she drank there was no change in her ability to urinate. The burn had intensified a little when she could smell the sluggish trickle of blood from her hand, when she had clenched her fists tightly with the pain. Her fingernails had cut into the flesh of her hands. Although the scent of the blood hit her immediately, and her throat burned harder, the scent was not quite appealing but it was definitely having a reaction on her body. That was one of the things that kept her coming back to the ridiculous thought of vampirism, she had hissed at the pain and there was a pain in her lip, and she tested with her tongue. She seemed to have canine teeth that were elongated, sharp and moved in and out, they were not there until there was blood and then once the scent was gone they were retracting. It was not a conscious effort it was automatic, somehow her olfactory senses seemed to trigger the new addition to her teeth. If what ever happened to her meant that she would for some reason need to consume blood she had a way to do that without hurting people. Another one of her personal interventions, brought to her by Lex, she felt that this was something a little coincidental, not that she believed in coincidence persay.

She suddenly thought of something else that Lex had given her that she had been working on.

********Luthor Corp Labs 8 Years Ago********

Lex had come into the Lab looking troubled he was more erratic lately, his obsession with the super tipping him over to an almost menicle place, full of xenophobic ranting and meglomainia. Their interactions had become less and less frequent and less and less productive, the slivers, the glimpses, the tiny moments where her brother was really there with her were becoming almost a memory. She wondered if they were imaginary, the small smiles, the little gifts the additional staff or equipment she asked for with little notes. Nothing could take away from the other things that he was doing, he was messing with Kryptonite and she was sure that the radiation was twisting him more than he anticipated. She saw him enter and sighed to herself, she wondered what new scheme that he had going now.

“Lex I am a little busy this project is in the final stages, I need to finish, maybe I can come and see you later?”

“Incase you have forgotten, as much as I have been lenient and granted you anonymity in your work, you still work for me dear sister, and when I decide that I need a moment of your time, I will get that. I am the person in charge of Luthor Corp, and by extension this lab and your work, don’t forget that little sister. As you are nearly finished you will have time for a project I want you to work on.”

Lena clenched her jaw she had this discussion over and over with Lex, her lab, her choice, her projects, she needed to think about if this was sustainable, she hoped that she would be able to bring him back from the edge but she had not instead she had a front row seat, a seat that showed the slow deterioration of his mind, the slow death of her brother, the only person that made her proud to be a Luthor, the only person that she truly loved since her mother. She looked down, steeling herself, the crazy look in his eyes, the sunken sockets, the dark circles, the somewhat gaunt look to his face, he looked sick, like walking death. She curled her hands into a fist pushing her nails into the flesh of her palms. She looked back at her brother.

“Oh I am well aware of who I work for Lex, but as you know there are limitations to your requests, contractually, and if you are going to try and push that boundary I will find other employment, or start my own lab, I have no interest in becoming someone that creates weapons or viruses, I am only interested in making the world better and you know that, so go ahead tell me what the project is, if it is not with in my contract, I won't be doing that, and no I do not need any more reminders of just how low I am on the scale as a Luthor, or as a scientist in this company, as I said, one more request out of my remit and I am gone, I will not join you on this journey you are taking Lex”

“Ever so dramatic Lena, you would have thought that growing up in the same house as me, with the same advantages, lessons and teachings you would be more able to keep your emotions in check and respond with more decorum. What would mother say if she could see you struggling to hold on to your emotions, clenched fists, hardened jaw, dramatic statements. The project is within your remit, and something that I would have thought that you would have wanted to do, it isn't the cure for cancer but it would help millions. However I can always pass it to Dr Henson in the other lab. I wouldn't want to offend your delicate sensibilities and have you working on something for me.”

Lena rolled her eyes, Lex may not show the emotion as she did but he was every bit as dramatic, if this was a project that he thought that Henson could achieve he would have given it to him directly, he knew that Lena didn't like him, after all for every advance he made he made the counter, so there was a cure for a virus, but he created the virus in the first place. She knew logically that this was yet another manipulation, that her brother still knew how to get under her skin, and Henson was definitely a route to that. She sat in the chair and crossed her legs giving her best I am listening look, her brow raised still, she would listen but if he was using manipulation she couldn't drop her guard.

“Blood, it is something that is used in all operations, to help with illnesses and can only be generated within the human body, it is not something that can be generated on mass, sure there is plasma to help but type matched and crossed blood is needed to ensure the health of those who are ill, or in incidents. Whereas this would be military and public, to be able to create a universally donatable synthetic blood that we can mass produce to ensure that there is no longer a shortage will mean that there would be instant treatment available. Imagine a soldier shot in need of blood but they have no idea what the type is so they can not give a life saving treatment. With universal donor blood they can just hook them up and save that life. Transfusions for cancer patients, blood in trauma and operating rooms, the idea that we can produce blood that will be accepted and not rejected by the whole human population, it would change the world. I thought you would want to head it, I have a team that is ready to start.”

Lena couldn't believe that Lex wanted her to head this, it was revolutionary, as much as progress had been made, that it was possible to increase plasma, the ability to make a synthetic blood that worked with all human blood types, would make a real change it would be something akin to William T.G. Morton created anesthetic or Alexander Fleming worked with antibiotics. Both have been able to change the face of medicine in a way that saved lives on mass scale. If she could do this, if she could make a synthetic substitute it would make things safer and more accessible, sure she didn't want to work on military contracts but this spanned both military and societal applications.

“Yes oh, that would be an amazing opportunity, thank you for thinking of me, you promise that it will be applied in all sectors?”

“Yes my dear sister, it will be applied everywhere.”

After almost 2 long grueling years of research and development Lena finally managed to get the substitute working, with additional antibodies, a mix of white and red synthetic cells, plasma electrolytes and balancing factors to ensure there was no rejection. It was the last conversation she had with Lex before he turned the sun red and killed so many people. He had been so pleased, so proud, for five minutes before he told her what he was planning on doing to Superman, and then Lena was filled with dread and horror. Which led to her turning him in and taking over the company.

*********now**********

Lena had spent the last four years working within LCorp working to change the way the company was perceived, it had angered her brother, she knew it would she had made things to help Aliens, foiled plans of their mother on numerous occasions, been active in saving and working with supergirl. Lex had eventually come after her himself and she had helped him thinking he was ill. She decided that she would not be taken in again and then she had been the one to end him, personally. 

She had no recollection of how she got home, she had actually chalked that up to a bad dream, she had woken in darkness in pain and figured that whatever happened to her, whatever this virus was had produced a vivid and terrifying dream but now, with all the consequences lining up she wondered if things were actually more simple than she thought. Hanson messing with regeneration, the way that he always laces things in viral payloads, maybe the reanimation had side effects, people not alive but not dead, no heartbeat, aversion to sun, due to lacking the ability to regenerate, frozen, not blood replenishment. She had been correcting the errors created by his insane plan to create regeneration. He had done it, and the result was a form of undead, vampiric people, she needed to find a way to get to the servers. She needed to find the information, look at the time line, it all seemed to make sense, to line up, what had Lex done, what had he done to her. Could she reverse it? Was there a way to remove this virus and restart her own heart? Vampires didnt exist, they were created, created by the obsessive mind of war mongering megalomaniacs. In short, what happened to her was the combination of Lex and Hanson. She thought his passing shot was telling her about Kara, but apparently the hits kept on coming. Not only was he still causing her difficulties, he had tainted the positive thoughts the memories that she cherished with him giving her projects that helped, that showed that he was still in there somewhere. He was proud of her, but only because he had manipulated her, it wasn't pride, not in her, in his ability to get one over her again. Pride in himself for once again manipulating her love, Lex’s lesson love is weakness.


	2. Understanding emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara realises when Lena is absent that she is in love with her best friend, and it starts with a missing heart beat. how will the couple cope with the change?
> 
> Kara felt like there was something there on the tip of her awareness that needed to be recognised but she was not able to see it, she felt like she was flying full speed to catch the tread but no matter how fast she flew no matter how hard she tried she couldn't catch it. It was often like that, bordering on a new realisation for her, stumbling through the points where she couldn't quite understand until finally it was there.

Kara sat at home in her loft deep in thought, it had been three long and excruciating days that could not come to an end soon enough. Kara was starting to let herself be happy for a change, her and Lena’s friendship finally seemed to be getting back on track. Especially after all the lies and betrayal on both sides, the trust issues haunting Lena and the fear Kara had for kryptonite. Kara had not known just how deeply she had hurt Lena until she was forced to bear witness to the whole heart wrenching “I killed my brother for you” moment between the two at the fortress of solitude. Kara was trapped with a front row seat in a prison of ice and kryptonite, watching the once fierce and indomitable woman she had grown to admire, respect and love deeply, crumble before her tear filled ocean blue eyes. Lena’s facade had finally cracked, the pain and sadness seeping out in Lena’s voice watching as utter devastation marred her best friend's face as she yelled and screamed at her. Kara saw the exact moment Lena’s heart had ultimately broken and shattered into pieces before her very own eyes, along with her own heart as well. Kara could never in her long life forget hearing that moment it will forever echo in her mind, but still hope remained in the hero's heart even if it was only an ember. That one day they would find their way back to one another and after everything they had been through, together and apart they had finally come back together. 

It had been a long road to trusting again but nothing that happened seemed to diminish the feeling that she had for the woman, it had been something that she had taken a long time to understand and comprehend. It wasn't that she didn't feel the love that she had for Lena, she always knew that she did, the declaration of trust and belief, the fact that she was her favorite above all others. To which there was no shortage of people that surrounded Kara to love, protect and keep her safe, but for Lena that list was small, only Kara, Samantha Arias and her daughter Ruby, but since they left National city that avenue was mostly closed. Lena’s most loyal of employees Jess, whom still to this day Lena denies having a soft spot for. Kara always being the no1 champion of all things Lena, especially the way her heart seemed to swell with a smile or a laugh from the scarlet lips. She had known that there were a lot of things about the CEO that she had loved, it wasn't the same as the way she loved Alex, or Winn not even the way she had once loved James. As a Kryptonian she had very little understanding of the concept of love in human terms, or even in kryptonian, that was what caused the issue in the first place. On krypton matches were made, for the best pairing that would do most for the houses, the society in general. She loved her mother, father, aunts and uncles, she had even grown affection for Kal, but it was somehow muted, and rooted in the familial connections, the pride and devotion felt to her family.

It had been the grief and several stages of it that Kara experienced and felt, during their time apart and at odds with one and other, that started to put things into perspective for her. Kara had cried and not just a little, she had also been angry and tried bargaining, but still had vehemently denied that there was no way that Lena would turn evil. Then there came the moment the kryptonite cannons were pointed at her, along came the blinding realisation of how bad things had truly become. No matter how strong the girl of steel was, depression hit harder. Everything had seemed darker, suppressed and she struggled to find hope more than ever before, for someone that literally was the paragon of Hope and gained her energy and power from the sun, to live in darkness was almost unfathomable. The hero felt like she was drowning in a vast sea of nothingness, choking and struggling against the current trapped under the weight of everything and unable to simply breath. The superfriends had tried to cheer her up on several occasions and so did her sister to no avail, but they just didn’t understand how she felt and what was wrong, but how could they possibly know when neither did she. Kara wasn’t able to focus on any of the good in her life, like her world had ended and regardless of who was with her she felt utterly alone, It was like she was back in in the phantom zone trapped, with nothing but empty space surrounding her and reliving the memory of her world exploding before her all over again, powerless to do anything. With every passing day Kara felt like the light, life and happiness, the very essence of her was being drained slowly and agonizingly out of her . 

Then there was the moment that Lena showed up at her door, Kara was weary but at the same time she felt energised and for the first time since the reveal the Kryptionian basked in the warmth that she felt like the sun on her skin. It was the moment that everything became suddenly clear to her and things started to change. Lena had come back offered to help and more importantly a tentative connection to friendship. They had started out bonding over working together and in the last six months she had made the realization that she loved Lena, the reason she was so broken was because she loved all of her, not just the way best friends love and care for one another, but that she was in love with her. Kara Danvers was in love with her best friend Lena Luthor, how had she been so blind and had not figured it out before?. Since her realization Kara had been allowing the thought of Lena to take a more central role in her mind. Her mind drifted to the moments that confirmed to her the truth of her feelings and that she had been ignorant to them for so long. 

*********** LCorp office 4 years ago **********

Lena had been dealing with a lot, and she had just turned in her mother, it was a massive moment, it had been a trick, subterfuge, a ploy but it had been executed with perfect precision, everyone even Kara had believed that Lena had taken a step in the wrong direction. It was a momentary lapse in her belief in Lena, it had been a few seconds but to Kara it felt like an eternity. Watching Lena turn the key that would kill all the aliens hurt, it had cut her to the core, she had not known her long but the effect was profound. She had taken three laps of LCorp before she decided to approach, she had not been sure what to say she felt guilty that even for that moment she doubted Lena. the woman who had spoken to her very soul on that first meeting, she decided that she had to come clean, but who was best to do that, Kara or supergirl, it always came down to that, always came down to the decision of which of her persona’s were best placed to talk to the woman in the office. Sometimes it was Kara and other times it was Supergirl. She understood the ridiculousness of this, as they were both her, but they had different roles with Lena, it had been needed but sometimes she couldn't help but think it would be easier if it was just her. She watched as she sat on the white leather couch, the place that Lena and Kara spent their lunches. She looked sad, and the weight of the world was crushing her slowly, as much as Kara would have liked to go in to comfort and hold her friend. Supergirl needed to be one to thank her, that was her job not Kara’s, so she landed on the balcony and tapped the door lightly.

“Supergirl, is everything alright? Did you manage to find Henshaw?”

“Unfortunately no, but that is not why I am here, I wanted to talk to you if you had a moment?”

She watched Lena’s face move her head slightly, tilting it ever so poignantly , the brow above her left eye raising a little, and there was a small smirk on her face. She moved her position and motioned to the couch, Kara felt her heart accelerate, the look was not something that she had expected in this persona, there were smiles for the hero but they were more of a flattered and hopeful nature this was more of the small playful smile that she offered to Kara at times. She didn't understand why it caused such a reaction in her but it did, it was something that she didn't quite understand at the moment. She had moved over towards the couch and took a seat, perching on the edge of the couch, a little tense but trying to be open, she wanted to open the communication and explain, she wanted to apologize for doubting her and to tell her that everything from now on would be alright that as Supergirl she would be there. She took a breath and looked at her, the soft features starting to look vulnerable and nervous for a moment as she contemplated the words.

“Miss Luthor, I told you to be your own hero, and today you were so much more, you were the hero to the entire Alien population. This combination, your family and mine could have had disastrous consequences, the virus that my father created, with the distribution of your mother could have ended the alien life in this city in a matter of moments. You stopped them, I am so very grateful for your help, for your actions and I have to apologize. For a moment, I thought that you were going to help her, but then I could see it in your face, you had a pained look, like you wanted to tell me something but couldn't, I just didn't know what it was until the rocket exploded. You like to do things on your own, to take on the world, to not live in fear, I admire you but I wanted you to know that although there was a brief moment where I doubted you, I will not make that mistake again. You are a hero Lena Luthor, and I am humbled by your courage”

“Well I said when I arrived I wanted to make a name for myself out of my family, and unfortunately that meant dealing with them, don't feel bad about thinking that I had joined them Supergirl, it is the natural conclusion to make, I had to make it believable. After all I am a Luthor, we don't engender trust, no matter how much we try, but I will keep trying, maybe one day I will earn that second chance that will allow me to help mankind”

Kara observed the shield that she had witnessed move around Lena, as she had stiffened through the brief conversation, she didn't want Lena thinking that way, she had indeed meant it when she said she would be judged on her own merits, it was her own issues that caused the problem not Lena herself. She wanted to make her understand that she was not giving her a second chance, she had not needed one, she was an amazing woman, it was the soft vulnerability in that moment that made her want to reach out and hold her, she wished she had come as Kara.

“Miss Luthor, in recent times I have had to come to some very unpleasant realisations, my father created a virus that could wipe out Aliens, that my mother betrayed her sister and used me to do it, and that my aunt who was my enemy was actually just misguided. I have had to rethink things over and over, but the one thing I do not have to rethink is my belief in you. I may have wavered for a moment, that felt like an eternity to me, but you are only ever going to be judged on your merits by me, and so far you have been exemplary in your actions, you are a hero, you are a good person, and you do your best everyday, I admire you. Our families as enemies have caused harm to the world and to you, the worst of our families working together could have been more devastating than anything that came before. However I trust you, you have proven you are not them, and I am not him, I would like to work with you, our families together working towards good could be amazing, and I hope that next time you have the weight of our combined families on your shoulder you will allow me to share the burden.”

“I don't want to be like them, I have always worried that the madness of my family would eventually get me too, I do things alone because it is hard for me to trust, to believe that anyone can see that I am trying to do something good. You’re right though, as enemies and as dark alliances our familial connection is cataclysmic, maybe a Super and a Luthor working together for good will be as equally instrumental, I hope that we can, work together in the future Supergil”

********* Now*********

Kara couldn't help but smile, it was the first time that a Super and a Luthor sat together in the understanding that although they had both felt the burden of their families separately, the combination of the expectations and the history, and made a small vow to come together in hope and in help. It was a long time ago but that was the start of so many times that they had helped each other, as a Hero Kara had saved Lena with her powers, over and over, but Lena was a Hero too, and she had saved not just Supergirl but Kara, without knowing that Kara was supergirl, she had protected her, shielded her and more than that, she had seen her. Kara had done the same, it was amazing to know that there was someone that saw her at her most vulnerable and accepted her, it had been hard but they had made it back to that and Lena had still allowed for the vulnerability in Kara, she had not expected her to just be the hero all the time. She had let her cry, be unsure, she had given her space to make mistakes and fumble. She had somehow through all the pain and the fighting managed to integrate the super with Kara and came to a place of deeper understanding. Kara herself had only one secret left to share and that was her realisation that she was in love with Lena. she wondered how the information would be received, she wasn't going to let her own fears and insecurities stop her this time. Not telling Lena about her other half had almost broken them apart and taken the world with them. She wouldn't let this happen again, even if Lena didn't feel the same, dealing with the embarrassment and rejection would be less painful than what they had already gone through.

Realising that she liked Lena had been a process, a strange and a long process, but she was firm in her convictions that she did, not only like her but that she loved her that she was in love, she felt that her heart was warmed by the acceptance of this. It was like there was always something just not quite right in her life, like she was out of phase with the world, somehow that she was on the wrong multiverse that was so close to her own vibration that almost everything fit into place. The one area of her life that had never fit was her romantic life, she put it down to the fact that she couldn't have it all. However Kal did, he had a job he loved, he was a hero, he had a woman he loved, was married and had twins, he had everything that people on earth longed for. Everything that Kara herself wanted and she was so close. She had a job she loved, she was a hero, she had family and friends, love in her life, but not someone special, everyone was just a little off. Cat, she had kept Kara at arms length, not wanting to become a cliche, saying she was too old for her. Winn her best friend with a crush, that had been awkward. Adam, was Cat’s son, but he didn't have the strength of Cat, the conviction, and he was just not the right fit. James, he was an Idea, a possibility of being accepted as the whole, but it just felt wrong the moment that it started, he didn't accept her as a hero in her own right constantly undermining her with Kal. Lucy was a brief thought but her and James were too entangled. Then Mon-el, much the same, misogynistic in his approach to her super half, although well in her alien status, he understood her but didn't appreciate her strength. There was flirtation and a excitement over Kate but the multiverse prevented that ever getting off the ground, and William well that was a non starter, after all, who wants to be with someone who degraded you and embarrassed you for days, lied and then all of a sudden, “hey I like you lets go out?” that was just not something that she would entertain. She did however want to feel a connection.

********* DEO balcony 3 years 2 months ago *********

Kara was stood on the balcony looking over the city it had been two days since she sent Mon-El away, she was sad but it was more than that, there was something that she couldn't quite put her finger on, she couldn't really figure out what it was that was the problem but she couldn't shake it off. Kals words that were supposed to be supportive and uplifting were not what they had meant to be. “I'm humbled by you. Yeah, I'd like to think that if it came down to a choice between… Lois and the world, but… I don't think I could. You are so much stronger than me. Stronger than I ever will be.” Instead it just made her think about if what she thought she had was real, if it was something that she would ever have. She had been mulling over it and thinking about it when Alex came to talk.

“Kara hey, how are you feeling? I know that you have been well very active but I haven't seen you, please talk to me”

“I um, I don’t know Alex, I should be feeling sad and I am, but I am not sure it is the reason I should be, pfft shoot I don't know what I am saying. Kal said this thing and well, it should be something that I took comfort from but…..I don't know, it just didn’t, I mean I understand what he was saying, but it somehow made me feel worse like there is something well wrong with me…… Rao I know I wasn't brought up here, and well on Krypton things were different, but I wanted to have someone you know, like on Krypton it was all decided and here it isn't and I can choose which should be comforting but it isn't. I am um just not good at this, I think that I am broken…. That’s how I feel, or felt for Mon-El wasn't how I am supposed to you know, like I am supposed to feel more sad, but I am just confused.”

Kara watched as Alex had tried to get her head around the thoughts, the rambling the confusion, she really couldn't understand even her own reactions to it, she didn't know how to talk about it, what to talk about, she just felt like it was the day she arrived again, the moment that she landed on this crazy planet, where nothing made sense. She wasn't sure if she could really make Alex understand but, she was the only one that ever helped her make sense of this world. She remembered looking at her and hoping that she could take this mess and make sense of it.

“Kara there is no right way to feel about things, it is just how you feel. I remember what Kal said, and well I know how that might make you think that you're not feeling right, but they are your feelings. I mean every relationship I had before Maggie, didn't click, didn't make sense and then all of a sudden there was Maggie. Realizing that I was gay and that I loved her was somthintg that changed my world, maybe your relationship with Mon-El was not all the way there yet, not like Maggie and me or Kal and Lois, you can have feelings for him that havent come to fruition, I mean there have been others and I know that it is different with everyone, but have you ever thought that maybe your trying to hard to make it perfect? That you are expecting the full blown love like in movies, but that takes time, it starts with a connection, being yourself with another, and being able to just feel it, men women aliens, it doesn't matter, it's about that equality, that connection, you know?”

“I have tried so hard to create that, to make the last aspect of my life work, but I just… Rao Alex it just doesn't, it didnt with Cat, Adam, Winn, James, Lucy or Mon-El. I feel like I should be able to be happy, to have it all like Kal but, I just can't get it right, I think I love them and then it doesn't work out and I feel terrible, like I have messed it up, but it isn't them I am missing not really. Mon-El is gone, I don't know if he is alive or dead, and I am not missing him, but the idea of him, and well me, the last piece of the puzzle?”

There was a movement and then tight arms around her, and Kara sank into the moment, sank into her sisters arms, the strength of love, she was not sure what she had said, but there seemed to be something more in the hug, something more in the way she was holding her so closely. She could hear the steady beat of Alex’s heart and she just signed into it. Moments later being moved so Alex could look into her eyes.

“Kara, what you're saying is normal, you want to be happy and you want to fall in love and have a relationship. You are not finding the right people, there is nothing wrong with you, it took years to find Maggie, you have so much love to give, and you know you will find someone, someone that will accept you completely. And it won't be the idea of the relationship that makes you happy, not just a person, not who they could be, or what they represent but them, it's ok you are sad about a missed opportunity but Mon-El wasn't for you, when you meet that person you will know.”

*********** Now**********

Kara smiled and remembered this, after Mon-El there had been no more relationships, there had been no more people that could be something, could one day be what she needed, that could be someone that could accept part of her, or more she wanted to have someone that was comfortable that there was a connection with, someone that she could really be her with, it had of course been Lena. People had started noticing and asking if they were dating but they were just best friends. She had not made the jump at this point not from friends to more, it had been a little crush maybe but then who wouldn't crush on the beautiful CEO. she had chosen Kara in both persona over others, her family and Jack, she had seen Kara and had helped her as supergirl, she had remembered wanting to combine the two, but there were too many things that got in the way, not least of all Lillian’s words at the fortress. She remembered the moment that she realised that Lena was the most important thing and wanted to tell her that she had feelings for her, they were not in love, but there were feelings. It was ironically Brainy who had made the connection for her.

She wondered in her mind if it was something about the future that had caused him to mention this to her, if he had knowledge he didn't really know her, in fact when he entered her mind she had no idea who he was not really. She had been battling Reign and there was a moment where she lost, she was going to die, and then she was in her loft. Strange alien at her door, coming into her loft, or her mind, and talking to her, it was a moment before he left to do battle that he was trying to get her to think about it differently, if he somehow knew that she needed a change in perspective.

******** Kara’s loft 2.5 years ago**********

“You seem to be splitting yourself a little Miss Zor-El, there is something that you are doing to keep your two lives from coming together, and maybe that is stopping you coming out of here?”

There was a little flash, a moment where a scene played out, almost like a flickering film, her calling Lena to Jump to climb to help her save herself. She remembered it, it was a moment that Supergirl couldn't be selfless, because Kara couldn't lose her best friend. She was determined to save both the chemicals and Lena, she caught the way the alien was looking at the strange makeshift screen. Contemplating the evidence that he saw before him.

“Miss Zor-El, Mon-El told me how supergirl sent him away to save the city, but here you almost caused a disaster for a woman? This Lena Luthor, what is it about her that stopped you making the decision, at the legion we work on your philosophies, that the needs of the many come first, selfless acts for the good of humanity that make us a hero, but you almost didn't.”

“Lena is different, she is not just important to the world, not just saving the city, the world and supergirl. She means the world to Kara Danvers, to me, she is the only person that really sees me, just Kara, I couldn't lose that, she is so important she helps ground me, keeps me human, losing her would leave me with no tether.”

She watched as the alien paced he was clearly contemplating the new set of variables calculating the new information as if it was evidence in the current predicament, that somehow this mattered he had mentioned Alex and her being sorry for telling her to be alien, he had done everything but it was Kara herself that was not willing to let go, he wondered if there was something else that was holding her back a truth that she was not able to reveal to herself. There was a look on his face when he seemed to come to a conclusion and turned around looking at her.

“It seems to me that Supergirl is healed and that there is something else stopping you coming forward, you love the Luthor woman, you find that she tethers you to Kara Danvers the human, the part of you that has a life outside of being a hero something that you can not let go of. She holds Kara, but not supergirl? You have separated yourself, your body and mind, your body is healed, your mind is not. Oh and Alex said that Kara Danvers is her hero”

The words had echoed with her and something that Lena had once said, she knew that what was keeping her there was the lie, that she was always keeping her lives apart. She needed to pull herself together figuratively and literally. She would deal with Reign and then talk to Lena.

******** Now**************

Things had not gone as she thought they would, Reign, Lena the whole situation was a mess, it was all over the place, there was the Kryptonite issue, the lies, then the break down. The haron el, all the things that were being done alone once again, Kara was on the outside, well not Kara, Supergirl. They worked together then, to clear Kara and the whole reveal happened and Life turned to hell. She grieved for her friendship, the love, everything had been completely cut off. Slowly they found their way back together, slowly they were friends, then best friends again.

Kara thought that it was in some ways funny that people often saw Lena as someone that was guarded and messed up, that she was a genius with little emotional intelligence or ability to healthily manage the emotions that she had. However they generally saw Kara as happy and empathic, someone that was able to manage her emotions and other than some basic human interactions and entanglements that were still very alien to her, she was well rounded. However it was Kara that needed to be helped, guided and prompted by others to understand, it was her that when inhibitions were removed became unstable. The difference was when Lena broke there was no one there to hold her up, to help her understand, she managed more emotional pressure than most people and still managed to be a good person, not completely healthy and unfortunately manipulated by her family. If there was anyone that could navigate through a potentially unrequited declaration of love, it was Lena, at least it wasn't more hatred and manipulation. Always being the one to hold herself responsible for their sins and doing her best to right the wrong done by her family and clean up their mess. That was why the last three days had been so difficult, she had not slept properly, she had been worried about Lena, she knew that she was facing off against Lex’s people in Metropolis, but Lena would be back soon, later today in fact, her mind was already reaching out for the moment that her heartbeat would come into focus again. The same familiar heartbeat that had always been there, was no longer in the background. Now it was front and centre of her thoughts at all times, she listened to it to calm her and to relax, sometimes just to check in, to reassure herself that Lena was in fact alright. Kara was so very hopeful that Kelly had in fact been right, that Lena would in fact feel the same way about her and that this would be the start of a new chapter of their lives, and although it may not be easy they both will get through it like they always have together.

***************Kelly apartment 2 days ago*************

Kelly was giving her that look, that “I know you need to talk and are trying not too look”. She had been grumpy for the last twenty four hours. She was eating ice cream and waiting for her sister, it wasn't often that she spent time with Kelly alone, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Kelly had been able to talk to her about the grief she was feeling when Lena and her were not talking, she had been an unofficial therapist of sorts and the only one that didn't seem to hold the belief that Lena was evil. It had been a saving grace, somone who let her be sad without making her feel stupid.

“Ok, Kara what is it? You look like you haven't slept, you're eating ice cream and you have the crinkle, prominent on your face, you know I am here if you want to talk, no pressure, but I can see there is something wrong.”

“Lena is in metropolis and well I feel strange not having her heart beat here with me you know, I listen to it to fall asleep, I listen to it to feel calm, and I dont know its just not the same with her gone, I feel um, well a little adrift. It's not just that, she hasn't called, or text, the messages are unread, I feel sick its like when I….when we were not talking, she had not once left a message for this long, or not returned a call, I just can't help but think there is something wrong, I kind of want to go to see that she is OK but, I know that she is busy and don't want to be a bother either. Since the time that we stopped talking and I grieved her I haven't felt this empty, it is like along with her heartbeat she took something of me with her and I can't function, focus, Rao I can't think straight.”

Kara felt like there was something there on the tip of her awareness that needed to be recognised but she was not able to see it, she felt like she was flying full speed to catch the thread but no matter how fast she flew no matter how hard she tried she couldn't catch it. It was often like that, bordering on a new realisation for her, stumbling through the points where she couldn't quite understand until finally it was there. Kara noticed the small smile, the uptake in Kellys heart, like she was nervous or contemplating something that she was not sure she should share.

“Kara you know that Lena and you, well you have a connection that goes beyond friendship, it is like some sort of magnetic field that keeps calling you back to each other, the feeling of being adrift of missing a part of you, that is how I feel when Alex isn't here, I love her and she holds a piece of my heart, I think that Lena holds yours, and I am pretty sure you have hers too, not just the rhythm, but she would only go that far if she was hurt, and nothing hurts like a broken heart”

“Oh Rao, that actually makes a lot of sense, I couldn't just go when we first met, I kept trying until we were friends, I kept saving her and she kept saving me, whenever we were fighting I just felt terrible, and it was so hard when she was gone, and this feels like that, kind of, she is missing and it's horrible, I know she is coming back but the fact she isn't with me hurts, I think you’re right I think, no I know I am in love with Lena, I need to tell her….. Rao do you think that it will be ok? Do you think that she will be ok with that?”

“Kara I think she will definitely be ok with it”

***********Now***********

They had talked for hours and she had come to the conclusion that talking to Lena was the best thing to do, she was excited and nervous, Kelly had talked her out of just flying over there were times and places for a declaration and in the middle of three days of meetings and contract reviews were not one of them. She decided to wait until Lena came back. So here she sat stretching her hearing out to the incoming planes hoping that one of them would bring her heart back to her. She finally understood the difference between loving the idea of love, and being in love, and the person that finally showed her that difference, the way someone can accept you, hold you, and be completely separate while together, an equal that can give you strength when you need it, who isn't afraid to be vulnerable and let you strengthen them, who just feels like they resonate within you perfectly, that completes you, who else would it be, who else in this world could ever hold her heart like Lena, it had always been her, no matter how messy, how complicated, how hard, together they had gotten through it all, they really were stronger together.


	3. The ever watchful assistant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess heads out to collect Lena from the airport and realises that she is missing.
> 
> Jess picked up the phone, there was nothing from Lena in three days, there wasn’t a call, text, or email, there were a number of very annoyed emails from investors and board members on Lena’s emails, she figured that Lena must have caused more turmoil than expected, she opened one and scanned it, Lena had blown them off. That wasn't right, in minutes she had gone through looking for anything, Lena had not booked in on the flight, at the hotel, on the return flight, the private Jet was still being repaired, the assistant had not heard from her, there were no news items, Lena had not been spotted in days. Jess didn't panic often but this was so far out of character for Lena.

Jess slipped into the back of the town car heading out, the car moved through late afternoon traffic towards the airport, She gazed intently out along the cityscape watching the haze of dusk sky starting to build around the horizon, turning into soft oranges and bathing the city in soft light. She didn't have to be doing this, Lena wouldn't expect it of her, after all the woman was technically still on leave. Lena had given her the last few days off while she was away and there was a temp filling in at the office, dealing with the mundane day to day functions that even a trained monkey could complete. Jess only real obligation was that she had to inform the relevant department heads and the Board that Lena was out of the city and would contact them when she returned. Jess had decided at the last minute to go and collect Lena personally from the airport to thank her for the birthday present, but more than that she wanted to give the CEO a friendly face to come home to. Although it would probably not be the friendly face Lena was hoping for, her boss was brilliant, amazing and ferociously driven at times. Sadly more often than not a little hopeless especially when it came to matters of the heart and a certain bubbly blonde reporter/superhero named Kara Danvers. Jess was well aware of Kara's alter ego and that pointing out that knowledge at any juncture, would probably lead to one of those agents in black tactical gear carting her off to a not so secret base for interrogation and be signing paperwork until her hands cramped up. Which had eventually happened anyway. Lena was however possibly the best boss that she ever had, a slight trip and stumble into darkness aside, she cared about Lena she really did. The CEO was oblivious to all things Kara, if she had realised this sooner she could have avoided the catastrophe before it happened. 

Jess always thought that the clear chemistry between the two oblivious fools and the way that Lena’s face lit up around the reporter was a sign that they possibly were starting to develop a romantic relationship and that things were moving on the right track. She didn't mind that Lena had kept that new development to herself, after all as fond as Jess was of Lena, they were not friends in the conventional sense of the word. Not that she would have ever said no to friendship with the young CEO, but Lena was adamant on keeping her mask of professionalism present and her personal feelings separate in the workplace. Except when it came to a certain bespectacled blonde that is, but even so she could tell that Lena cared for her too. The CEO wasn't openly explicit in her affections towards her, but it was obvious to Jess that the young Luthor appreciated very much. 

It wasn't just a job to the young asian american working for some ruthless corporate bigwig, she paid attention to details and the little things others had missed, that spoke to how much she cared for the CEO. Jess showed her affection and level of care for Lena when and whenever possible, in the undying loyalty she always displayed or how she went above and beyond, and it was those very things that would occasionally allow Lena's mask of professionalism to slip a little. The CEO paid attention to her employee’s but she took an interest in Jess and that told her that Lena liked her too. Jess had been happy knowing that she worked for one of the most amazing and brilliant women in the world, her mind and inventions, her drive and determination. Most of all the young Luthor's compassion and heart, always pushing herself and the company forward, never living in fear, she was a hero in her own right and maybe just maybe one day Lena and Kara would be able to get their shit together, stop dancing round pining like middle schoolers and the inevitable truth. People think that a Super and a Luthor should immediately be enemies and at odds, but Jess could see nothing but respect, admiration and potential for two strong and powerful women to accomplish great things together and of course Love.

*********** LCorp offices 4 years ago**********

“But I really need to speak to Miss Luthor”

“She can not be disturbed right now Miss Danvers, I am sorry”

Kara had run a fake and muttered through to the door of the office and had pulled it open bursting in, the door was locked, there was no way that she should have been able to open it, she was fast and strong, she was sure that when she knocked her lightly she was hit by a truck, sure the meek mannered reporter was more than she had appeared, but the evidence was there. 

“I’m sorry Miss Luthor she was just so fast”

“Don’t worry Jess, can you see to it that Miss Danvers is to be shown in right away whenever possible.”

Jess couldn't close the door so she heard the request for the Alien fight club, she couldn't help but draw the conclusion that with the speed and strength and the interest in the alien fight club, Kara Danvers was in fact an alien herself.

********** Gala for the hospital 3 years 8 months ago***************

Jess stood to the back of the room, she observed the party being mostly invisible as a good assistant did, she oversaw the caterers and the waiters, kept hold of the silent auction bids, took donations and kept people away front each other, there were a number of big players that would only cause problems for Lena if they came to blows, metaphorically speaking. After all watching middle aged, balding, bloated, privileged misogynists have a verbal pissing contest over who had the most power, the youngest wife and the best portfolio, it was repugnant and disgusting and was not in the spirit of the event. The assistant had been frantically running interference between two L-Corp board members when Kara arrived, heading straight for the potstickers that her boss requested for the woman in question. Jess had watched Kara’s face light up as bright as the sun when Lena approached her. What Kara had missed though was the softness that spread across Lena’s face instantly on seeing the budding young reporter, the smile that graced her ruby red lips and the sigh of what only could be relief, that the blonde had indeed had accepted her personal invitation to the gala. As the CEO moved in and said hello, Jess watched on curiously as Kara was bumped into, Lena was momentarily distracted by a very apologetic and quirky young man, the smile disappearing from Lena’s face immediately only reappearing when Supergirl descended from up above and spoke to the CEO. The way Lena's eyes lit up and smiled while she conversed with National City’s resident hero was so similar to one that she offered Kara that Jess could be forgiven for not realising that Lena didn't know the two were one and the same.

************LCorp 3 years 4 months ago************

Jess popped her head into Lena’s office just to tell her that she was going to head home and see if there was anything that she could do before she left and she witnessed the moment that the Super and the Luthor sat together on the couch normally occupied by the alter ego, she was telling her that together they could achieve amazing things, Jess smiled knowing that Lena was in good hands and slipped out silently, she didn't want to interrupt the magical moment between the two them. It looked like everything was on track for a beautiful relationship, star crossed lovers. She smiled to herself hoping that Lena would take down some of her walls for the blonde finally letting Kara all the way in.

********** Now *********

Jess smiled at the memory of the two and the budding relationship that she remembered so fondly, there were many more moments of course, the reporter coming in and having lunch with the CEO, finally someone able to make the stubborn woman take a break and actually eat a decent meal for a change. Supergirl swooping in and saving the CEO every other week from some insane assissination attempt, sadly from Lena’s own family members. Kara comin to comfort Lena during Lillian’s trial, proving her innocence after that horrible woman tried to frame her own daughter attempting to make Lena complicit in Lillian’s crimes. The memory that scared her the most was also the one she was most thankful for, and was the one that made her realise how much she really cared for the CEO and incidentally one she was not present for. Jess was only aware of what had transpired when she returned from work after 4 weeks away that Lena herself insisted she take, to care for her ailing mother. When she had returned after her mom had made a full recovery, the assistant was going through the previous months security logs as usual, when she came across footage. It was that backstabbing twisted evil little imp, Alana, from the secretarial pool, she never liked that woman there was always something off about her, it seemed that she had weaseled her way into the position of Lenas personal assistant, while she was away on leave. That treacherous snake was spying on Lena, leaking sensitive data, funds and company blueprints for prototypes. Obviously she was working as a plant for Lillian, she knew that the Luthor matriarch was just as evil and psychopathic as her son. 

Jess’s heart had stopped beating and her blood ran cold the moment she saw the vile conniving woman usher 2 armed men, past security and into the private elevator motioning them towards Lena’s office. While the imposter was cleaning out her desk in haste attempting to remove all traces of her presence, Jess frantically switched the footage over to her boss’s office and increased the sound as watched with heart in her throat. Lena was speaking to Kara on the phone and was about to give her a possible location to Lillian’s whereabouts, only to be interrupted by the two armed men storming into her office. Jess watched the commotion with bated breath as Lena, not one to go down without a fight, grabbed a taser from her desk attempting to fight back against her two attackers and dropping her phone in the scuffle. The normally composed assistant already had tears welling in her eyes and gasped in horror, watching her boss being manhandled, she made it out of her office onto the balcony, only to fall moments later. The clearly emotional assistant was on the verge of a breakdown yet still could not tare her eyes off the monitor when suddenly, rising like a phoenix from the ashes there was the woman she had become so very fond of and admired Lena Luthor being held in a bridal style carry, firmly in the arms of Supergirl the two of them gazing at each other with soft smiles. 

It was like they fit perfectly together, the Luthor in the arms of the Super like it was fate or destiny. Supergirl rose up just above the balcony Lena held securely to her chest and hovered, clearly looking at the dumbfounded thugs asking them in her confident heroic persona “did you drop something”. The hero used her freeze breath knocking the men back into the wall with enough force both of them were unconscious before they even hit the floor of the balcony. The Super then floated over the railing shifting Lena from her arms ever so gently and placing her back onto the solid floor of the balcony, almost tenderly as if the CEO was made of glass, immediately checking her over making sure that there were no injuries after her attack an almost fatal brush with death and that Lena was ok. Jess had never been more thankful for Kara Danvers coming into her and Lena’s life than in that moment and what she saw transpire between the two of them only served to remove any and all doubt in her mind that Luthor and Super were meant to be. 

After the balcony save came the sudden appearance of Lena’s ex-business partner Jack Spheer. The moment that Kara Danvers stood in front of the assistants desk with a young man she introduced as Mike that was clearly looking at the blonde the same way as did her boss, there was a desperate look in the blondes eyes and asking about Lena and whereabouts that evening. Normally Jess ever that gatekeeper to Lena’s private life would never reveal such sensitive information to anyone about her boss, but there were some strange and unusual deaths that were occurring in the National City and if Lena was in danger then of course Kara would and was the only person that she trusted to save Lena. The romantic in her was also hoping that Kara seeing Lena out on a “date” with someone would be enough of a push in the right direction for them to finally get together since they obviously had not thus far. Once again Jess was forced to watch her boss suffer in agony as her friend had died, but unlike previous times Lena was not alone, this time Kara Danvers came. The blonde sat with her, held her in her arms, wiped away her tears, refusing to let Lena suffer in silence or alone.

Then came the Daximite invasion and Lena’s contribution helped save the whole of National city, not just the aliens but everyone, even though Lillian had tried to claim responsibility for the device. In the aftermath and months following the failed invasion her boss was working herself into the ground, trying to help rebuild the city, obviously out of a misplaced sense of guilt having been tricked into helping create a portal for the aliens to invade. Kara had been uncharracterly absent however supergirl, well she seemed to be everywhere except for LCorp as either persona and things were clearly different between the two women. After the unveiling of the statue it seemed Lena had gotten through to Kara if only for a moment. They had become so close and then the moment when Lena called her in to get the Lawyers together and brought Catco, why not, she would be able to spend more time with Kara, although she missed her boss Sam was nice, a little flakey and seemed to be off but her daughter Ruby was indeed a breath of fresh air and a welcome addition to the office. She remembered the return of Mike, and the conversation with Lena after she returned following the lead issue, she was happy to have her back but there was something off, Jess found that Mike was Kara’s boyfriend and she was momentarily confused by this new information and Lena had said that Kara and her were best friends, nothing more. She could see the sadness behind her bosses eyes when she had said that, but Jess, ever the professional, had not said anything. After all, she held more secrets than the DEO, yes she had finally worked that out too, there was a level of anonymity to being an assistant, other than Lena and Kara most people paid her no mind.

Jess had not realised until it was way too late that Sam was the new villain Reign. Lena had been spending more time in her personal lab and working to try and help Sam, she had witnessed the destruction of the friendship between the Super and the Luthor, that hack James Olsen’s interference increasing the damage ten fold, even Lena and Kara seemed to be struggling. She figured that it was a separation of church and state, a new dimension that they were navigating, she didn't think for a moment that Lena didn't know Kara’s secret. For all her observational skills and intelligence she missed what was in front of her face the whole time. Lena Luthor, genius, did not know that Kara Danvers was Supergirl, The phrase Love is blind, was never more accurate when it came to Lena and Kara. Jess had always assumed that like her Lena just said nothing about the duality, to avoid the unpleasantries and well because as much as Kara was adorably clumsy and terrible at keeping her secrets, however smooth she thought she was. Jess assumed that like her Lena just pretended not to know, not to see the cracks in her disguise. It appeared on reflection that Lena actually had no idea that the two were one and the same, she had never seen Lena so broken, or had been more withdrawn than when her brother had tried to kill her or when Jack died. The difference being that the cause of the pain was the person that normally pulled her out of it. 

*********** LCorp 1 year ago***************

“Jess can you come in here please”

Jess replied and headed into the office, something had been off about Lena, she wasn't sure what but she knew it had something to do with Kara, she had not sparkled as much, the visits seemed tense and unpleasant, it was a few days before the pulitzer party and she was confused as to why Lena wasn't more happy that Kara had won such a prestigious award, sure it was a exposay on Lena’s brother but still, she had not been upset at the initial article, she had gushed about it. However since her brother fell she was different colder. She had once said that her brother died a long time ago, maybe the emotions were no longer able to sit in their boxes.

“How can I help Miss Luthor?”

“Jess this contract is in need of certification, however it is top secret and I need it to be done and returned today, I know that you have work to do but you are the only one I can trust with this.”

Jess smiled and took the packet, she would head immediately and have it back before the end of the day she knew that Lena didn't ask for something to be turned around so fast unless it was important she smiled and headed out. It wasn't until she sat with the notary that she realised it was the sale of Catco. She had been shocked but it wasn't her place to question her boss or her decisions, maybe she had finally given up hope that there would ever be more between her and Kara, she would make sure that she did more to take care of Lena, after all she had taken a back seat to the blonde, not that she minded at the time.

***********LCorp 6 months ago ************

The last six months had been hell, Jess sat outside of Lena’s office, she could see the destruction the mess that was happening all around her, she had been actively removing Kara, she had been going up against Supergirl, she was treating them both with disdain. Clearly Lena had finally realised that they were the same, she was hurting badly and not handling it well. Lena was distancing herself from everyone, even her relationship with her boss was being affected, the CEO was shutting off from everything and she missed Lena so very much. Jess missed the woman that she once was, the woman that had become her boss, her hero, the woman she admired more than anyone else not to mention that she was slowly being replaced by a computer. An artificial intelligence, Lena was alone and pulling away from all human interactions, she barely saw her now and was no longer enjoying working for the CEO, it was breaking the assistants heart. She’d had several offers made to her and finally made up her mind, if she couldn't get through to the woman that she had looked up to once and admired for so long, then it was time to go. She stood and knocked on the door, Lena had called her in.

“What is the problem Jess?”

“Can I speak candidly Miss Luthor?”

Jess had moved toward the desk and stood tall looking at Lena, she looked tired, her jaw was set, there was more than a little stress and anger on her face. She knew that there was no longer a good time to do or ask for anything from Lena any more. Jess was always able to read when she could do and say things a little more than assistant, normally after a visit from Kara, and the closeness and openness that Lena carried for an hour or so after a visit, that was gone. Lena was nowhere to be seen, she had met the other Luthors, and the person on the other side of the desk was a Luthor and that thought only spurred her on even more. Lena was not like the rest of her family and Jess was not going to leave without trying to save the woman that had saved so many others before, she had nothing to lose that she had not lost already.

“Jess I am incredibly busy right now, if this isn't work related I just don't have time, if you need time off schedule it with Hope”

“Well it is work related, not that it will matter much past today, I came to work for you not for safety and security, heaven knows I have had more near misses and injuries than a cage fighter since working here, it wasn't for the money or prestige either, I came here to work for Lena Luthor, the woman that I admired for her drive, ambition, ideals, determination and intelligence. For over four years I have been a loyal employee, I have worked hard and loved being a part of what you have achieved. I even stood by and watched while you moved that two faced backstabbing troll of a woman Tessmacher over from CatCo to be your lab assistant and held my tongue when she tried to all but take my job out from under me. Did I whine and complain, no I did not. I stayed and did my job as always to the best of my capabilities and gave 100% to whatever it was that you had instructed of me,but no more, now you are replacing me with a goddamn computer, removing all people from your life and turning into a goddamn robot yourself. I never thought I would see the day that I came to work for a woman so devoid of passion and light that the most humanity I see in a day is interacting with a discombobulate voice of an AI, with the personality of a sadistic megalomaniac, with the power to remove free will and the ability to lie. You are hiding from your own pain by attempting to make us all automatons, it's been tried before, it didn't work then and it isn't going to work now or make you happy. Don't worry about calling for security to have me removed, my desk is already packed up. I will not need an escort as I will gladly leave the building, but you owe me at least the opportunity to finish what I have to say.”

Jess tilted her head and clenched her jaw and stood her ground watching Lena’s hand move away from the hidden button, clearly she was either shocked at her soon to be former assistants words or going to let her commit career suicide, after all she requested it. Jess took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts then prepared to continue.

“I get it ok, you have been hurt, lied to and you are lashing out, and this time had no one to call, because the person that hurt you was Kara, the one person on this planet that you love more than anything. You may not see me as a friend but I saw you as one Miss Luthor because I cared about you, I have kept caring and trying for the last six months, but I can not do it any more. Honestly it’s hurting me so much to see the woman I have looked up to and admired for so long become exactly the person that you fought so hard for others not to see you as. Being the smartest person in the room, in most every room that you are ever in, you have to have had realisation that you missed the truth for so very long. While it must have hurt you beyond any measure of words, you have to know very well why you missed it? It is simply because you love her and that reason alone, that you missed seeing the truth for so long. You think she betrayed you, that maybe so but I have watched you love her with such a passion and force that is unmatched by anyone else, except by the way she has loved you in return for the past four years, in both her costumes. 

Yes she lied, but she was here, she was always here even when you didn't want her to be just as she promised, she protected you in every way possible, even risked her own secret identity to do it putting your life before anything else. I have waited for you to pull yourself together, but all you have done is tare yourself further apart and I can not watch this any more. As Arthur Schopenhauer said “All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” I have waited for you to get to stage three, but instead you're burying yourself so deep within your projects and artificial “people” that you are not getting there. Be angry, scream, shout, do whatever you need, but at the end of it all there is only the simple and irrefutable fact. Pushing her away, pretending you dont care, that you don't love, that you're not really a human being. That is certainly not helping, you are just hurting yourself and I will not stay to watch the most amazing woman I have ever had the pleasure to know vanished into insanity. One truth is self-evident to me, Kara being Supergirl means that even before you knew you loved her, both sides of her loved you. It's sad to see that you would rather lose them both than love her fully, you Lena Luthor the woman who won't live in fear is a coward. I would give you notice, but well with hope, you don't need me”

********* Now********

Jess smiled thinking back to that moment, she had not even made it out of the building before security had caught up with her and dragged her back to Lena’s office. Lena had cleared her schedule, and talked to Jess like they used to. It had taken a while but Kara was back, their relationship was on the mend and by the looks of things stronger than ever, Jess and Lena had become closer. The A.I. Hope, well she was banished to a small shelf in a volt. Jess just couldn't believe that of all things an emotional outburst was what finally tipped Lena over the edge, seeing Jess of all people crack had made her stop and take a moment to realise how far she had fallen, and she had gone to Kara the day after. It felt as if the veil had been lifted, even if Jess had to have that horendus meeting happen and she had to fill out so much paperwork that it seemed ridiculous since the woman had known for years and yet still not breathed a word to anyone. Once again Jess had a front row seat and she was sure that not only Lena but Kara had woken up to what was happening between them, she was a little more tentative about going into the office now. She kept expecting there to be something more than just a snuggle on the couch or a tight embrace, but so far there had been nothing. She wondered if there was still a block in the way, was there something keeping them from taking that final step to being what everyone could see they were supposed to be.

****** 4 days ago******

Jess went into the office and handed Lena over the tickets for her flight, she was on the red eye flight meaning that she needed to head off soon, but she insisted on getting everything up and ready for her absence. Lena was the head, and the heart of LCorp but she was needed elsewhere.

“Lena, you need to pack up here are your tickets, I will make sure everything runs smoothly over the next three days dont worry.”

“Ah yes, that is something else, you are having the next three days off, so you will not be here to take care of things, there is a temp handling the calls, and you are turning your phone off and heading out, in oh in about five minutes.”

Lena handed her an envelope and she tilted her head looking as Lena waved it in front of her. She took the envelope and looked up a little confused.

“Jess its your birthday, and between getting LCorp, and its CEO back on track, you have had no time off in the past six months, you are going to a all expenses paid spa for the next three days, you will have no work, no pressure and no I repeat no interruptions from me or LCorp. I will take your phone if I have to.”

“I um, wow, that is too much Lena that, I will be available, what if you need me? If they try and pull something? I can't just go off to a spa and leave you alone to face that shark tank.”

“Jess I have your personal mobile, and if I am surrounded in chum and they are circling I will call, but other than an actual life or death situation you, you are on vacation ”

********* Now**********

She opened her bag and picked out her work phone, she had not had it on for the last three days, Lena had her personal number if it was an emergency but she had insisted that she took three days off. She turned it on and placed it on the seat, there was no point in looking until the frantic beeping finished. She sat back and looked out the window, dusk was in full swing and soon it would be dark. There was a small amount of traffic she hoped that it wouldn't delay her, she wanted to meet Lena. Jess picked up the phone, there was nothing from Lena in three days, there want a call, text, or email, there were a number of very annoyed emails from investors and board members on Lena’s emails, she figured that Lena must have caused more turmoil than expected, she opened one and scanned it, Lena had blown them off. That wasn't right, in minutes she had gone through looking for anything, Lena had not booked in on the flight, at the hotel, on the return flight, the private Jet was still being repaired, the assistant had not heard from her, there were no news items, Lena had not been spotted in days. Jess didn't panic often but this was so far out of character for Lena. She called the head of security, Lena had not been in the office, her card had not been used in any LCorp facilities or subsidiaries since she left the office, after Jess herself left. She called the building, there was nothing on the monitors for the private elevator to the penthouse. Lena never made it home, there were no claims to have her, no ransoms. She scrolled through the phone and found the number she was looking for dialing and waiting patiently for an answer.

“Jess hey, Is everything ok? What time is Lena back, I was um, I was going to call you so I could meet her at the airport, but she said that you were on leave, that she had insisted, I can't say I disagree with her desire to make you take care of yourself too. I have been really excited all day, listening out for her return but I am guessing that she is coming back late, she has not been replying to messages, I was starting to think that there was something wrong, but then she said before she went that she would probably be a little busy and distracted. I almost headed out just so I could check on her, I am not used to not hearing from her, I know that it isn't the same but I started to feel like she was gone again, my sisters girlfriend suggested that I um, oh well that is um nothing that is important now, I just I realised I was overreacting. Um, sorry what was it you wanted?”

“Lena is missing Kara, I am in the car on the way to pick her up, she didn't make her flight, she has been gone for three days. There is no one claiming they have her. Kara… Kara are you listening…. Kara”


End file.
